Parenting by example

In ‘Not just Sreesanth, the BCCI is greedy too’ on firstpost.com, Ashish Magotra writes, “…to put it metaphorically, the BCCI fixes the game outside the field.
They ensure that DRS is not used – despite the ICC okaying it initially. They have men in important committees. They rig elections. They even allegedly told Cricket South Africa that they were opposed to Haroon Lorgat becoming their chief executive. The BCCI even had a huge hand in ensuring that Bangladesh got Test status. …..
If the BCCI can do all of this and get away with it, what is the message that it is sending to the cricketers?
Now whether Sreesanth, Chavan and Chandila are guilty or not… one has to wonder whether the BCCI’s actions have in no way affected these players. Many studies have revealed in the past that children tend to pick up the habits of their parents – it is almost an unconscious habit.”

Some years back, my neighbour, a businessman, had mentioned that he normally discusses the highlights of his day’s work with his family during dinner. This was his way of grooming his 9 years old son who, he hoped, would eventually take over his business. One evening, when this neighbour’s son was playing with his friends, his elder sister reminded him that he had not prepared sufficiently for his Mathematics test the next day. The boy, obviously more concerned about his game than about the next day’s test, ignored her. She pointed out that he had to do well in that test to make up for his poor performance in the previous test. If he did badly in the next day’s test, he would be in trouble. His reply: “Don’t worry, Didi! I’m sure I’ll do well tomorrow. By chance, if I do badly, I’ll bribe the teacher to give me good marks.” Obviously, my neighbour’s grooming was effective!

On another day, I was at another neighbour’s house when her son returned after purchasing some items from the local grocer. The boy handed over the bill and the change to his mother, who realised that the grocer had given excess change by mistake, Rs. 37 instead of Rs. 27. She requested her son to return the excess amount to the grocer immediately. The 12 years old boy was reluctant to go out again as it was very hot outside. His mother insisted, explaining that, while Rs. 10 was a minor amount for them, it was a significant amount for the grocer, hence they should not take even the slightest chance that they would forget to return it later. To the best of my knowledge, the mother was not trying to groom her son. She was only doing what she thought was correct. In the process, she was being a wonderful role model for her son!

(In an email response to ‘Think before speaking or acting!’, Amar Verma said, “I firmly believe in what you are saying – to think about the impact of what you are about to say or do.
While I am no expert on behavioral growth of youngsters, I do believe that they are impacted more by how the folks in their ‘influence circle’ behave than by any advertisement on TV or posters. We tend to blame everything else for the perceived (every generation thinks that the youngsters are lost because of ….) ills of our kids instead of looking within ourselves and our immediate circle of friends/family who, in my view, have the most impact on their upbringing.”)

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10 thoughts on “Parenting by example

  1. Parents are the first teachers the children come in contact with. If they see that the parents themselves have no integrity, how can the kids develop those values? Hence parents should lead by example. All the evils in this country today are because our leaders lack a sense of right values, and have greed for easy power and money. Unless we set the matter right we can never expect improvement in the country.

      • First believe that you can. Then do what you think is right. If you have a will, you will achieve what you want to. So, Believe, Have Faith, Be patient, and live as per your conscience. This will guide you to lead the right way of life and your children will learn from you as an “IDOL”.

  2. Pingback: Can we eradicate corruption? Yes We Can! | Proactive Indian

  3. Truth. How the child does things is most often the way he has seen it being done, or told, however! And the sad part is that parents who expect exemplary behaviour from their children aren’t examples themselves. Teachers too!
    Recently, in Class 7, while doing a lesson called, “The Bewithched Jacket”, I spoke to the kids about an amazing film called ‘Now You See Me” about 4 magicians and the stunts they pull off; immediately they wanted to know if it was available on the net, on Youtube, etc (it did not release in our town) – and I remember telling them, way back then, that it would not be right to download, unless one has paid for it. We had this little discussion on piracy 🙂

    Just a week ago, one of the children stood up in class, to say he’d watched it, as he got the movie from his sister’s friend! The others groaned, and I asked them if they hadn’t been able to get a copy. They said it wasn’t on youtube, and anyway I’d told them, hadn’t I, that they ought not to indulge in video piracy by unlawfully downloading it?
    I was humbled there. Truly. I honestly did not expect them to take heed of a request I make very very regularly! And, let me confess, I do download ‘unlawfully’ sometimes! So, I was shamed too!
    Children can imbibe so much, so very much from us. Why don’t we give them the good stuff to do so? Sigh.

  4. A very pertinent post indeed. Glad that I didn’t miss it. Definitely it is our responsibility and our mannerisms that have a lot to do with the upbringing of our children. If we teach them to differentiate between right and wrong from a very young age, they’ll surely be moulded into better citizens.

  5. Pingback: Parenting by example | Proactive Indian

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